I wish I can run away from everything.
I want to stop studying and stressing over academics and just " L I V E ".
But everyone knows that "living" requires money.
And that kind of money, I don't have.
So I'm stuck here studying, eating, and sleeping.
That is what my life consists of... and nothing more.

Sometimes I sit here in front of my computer and ask myself what the hell I'm doing.
I'm wasting my life away sitting here in front of a box.
I should be out there enjoying my youth, because I mean we're not young forever.
But the truth is, I like staying at home and being by myself in quiet solitude.
I'm not as patient and tolerant as I used to be.
I love my friends, but I just can't stand the chittering and chattering anymore.
Sometimes the faintest thoughts just creep into my mind; I realize that I am content with those thoughts.
It's okay, I think, to not want to be around people all the time even if its your friends; to just have a time to yourself so you can think and analyze and discover aspects about yourself that you can never discover with all this noise and chaos around you.
But does it become a problem when you enjoy that feeling of being alone too often?
Does it ever become too much?
And then after having those little moments day after day, week after week, and month after month, I feel as if my face has fallen off the face of the Earth.
I no longer really exist in the eyes of others and that's when I get the feeling of loneliness; the feeling that maybe if I can be just a little more patient and maybe if I can just deal with all the crap that we talk out there, I can enjoy my life in the midst of others.
So I try, and of course, I fail.
When did I become like this?
When did I become this person who just enjoys the feelings of solitude in her own home?
Probably in sophomore year, wasn't it?
I've become this person who would rather be alone, but needs to know that someone cares.
I need to know that someone cares about me, that someone loves me, that someone needs me, that someone wants me.
But I need all that without being able to give any back.
Hunger for attention.